2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
Ever since school began I’ve tried to listen more. While I’m still not the best at it, I’ve come across a few observations since the year began. One of these tidbits I’ve picked up on is that there are a ton of people who just aren’t very content with where they’re at in their life. Sure, there’s a ton of people who are thrilled with where they’re at, but I’ve noticed a pattern of friends and even strangers looking for something more; more than what they have now. In a day of social media, everyone puts their thoughts on the internet for the world to see. And recently a lot of what I’ve been seeing is people who put more stock in idealizing perfect relationships than actually working on the relationships they already have.
“If one day I can find a man who loves me and talks about me like *insert celebrity here* loves his wife, I’d finally be happy.” Now don’t get me wrong ladies, Thomas Rhett and his wife are the cutest thing since puppies, but the fact of the matter is that idealizing a relationship that you’ll never be a part of only can hurt the one you will be a part of. The same absolutely goes for guys. We do it just as much, if not more.
“If I could just find a girl like that one day I would be a happy man.”
“If I just could find friends that cared about me that much, maybe I could finally be happy.”
“If I just had a family that loved me like their’s does, man, I would finally be happy.”
All of these sentences have one thing in common, they’re all ifs.
James 4:2-3 says, “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
We want what we don’t have, so what do we do? We ruin. We kill what we do have. We covet, we cling to the very things we wish we could have. We fight because we don’t get what we want, when we want it, right now. We want that perfect relationship, that perfect friendship, that perfect family why? For selfish reasons. With the wrong motives. At the end of the day, we do it for our own pleasures, for our own happiness. And the fact of the matter is that this idealism, this craving for something that has not been, is not, and will never be ours, is hurting our relationships. Hurting our relationships not only with each other, but with God Himself.
That verse hits incredibly close to home, mainly because I’m 1000% just as guilty of it as every other person. So the question I want to pose to anyone reading this is what do we do? As members of God’s church, children of God himself, what do we do?
We have to change. We as a generation have to make the conscious decision to be a people who puts their stock in God and nothing less. Because at the end of the day, anything less than God won’t make us happy, even if we think it would bring us more joy than anything else on this planet.
As a people we need to fix our eyes so high above on God and on Jesus Christ that it becomes pretty dang hard to remember what you were worried about before. I want us to take a moment to stop and just be thankful for the relationships, friendships, and family we do have in our lives. If you woke up today to see another day and you have any of those three aspects of your life right now (relationship, friendship, family), consider yourself incredibly blessed. There are people who have absolutely none of them. Sow those relationships and friendships that you do have. I promise you there is at least one of your friends who probably had a bad day and you have an opportunity to make it better by being there for them, to be their light. Shoot them a text, a phone call; grab lunch with them, show them God is good.
Idealism and idealistic mindsets hurt future and current relationships.